Barbara J. Peters, RN, LPC:Licensed Professional Counselor

The teenage years offer many stresses for the family system. Adolescents often challenge the rules and boundaries of the family system while they are engaged in seeking their own identities. At this same time, parents have their own issues such as confronting their own mortality in the form of a mid-life crisis and possibly dealing with their own aging parents. This creates a turbulent time for a parent in balancing the adult issues with the developmental crises of their adolescent children. The following are some key points to keep in mind as you work through this time.

What To do:

1.Provide and maintain clear boundaries and limits.
Use discussion and negotiation rather than arguments.
Realize some conflict is unavoidable.
Be flexible with rules and roles.

2. Exemplify the attributes you wish your adolescent to emulate.
Behavior must be consistent with words

3. Provide positive reinforcement on a daily basis for something, even if seemingly insignificant

4. Spend time with your adolescent daily.

5. Educate yourself about issues facing adolescents today.
Read books, articles
Communicate with professionals as needed

6. Recognize warning signs of problematic behavior.
Alcohol Drugs
Depression
Eating Disorders
Gang Involvement

Recognizing:

Eating Disorders
Refusal to eat enough to maintain body weight.
Fear of becoming fat, even when clearly underweight.
Abnormal body image.
Absence of menstruation in young women for a period of 3 consecutive months.
Compulsive behavior with regards to exercise.

Chemical Dependency
Making new friends and abandoning old ones. Poor grades - decreasing - suspensions
Behavior problems (i.e. lying, running away)
Isolation from family members.

Gang Activity
Changes in clothing and Jewelry.
Changes in Behavior.
Changes in Friends.
Changes in finances.

Depression
Change in mood, behavior.
Change in eating.
Change in sleeping. Change in academic performance.
Change in grooming.

Always provide and maintain open lines of communication!